HAPPINESS IS A WARM GUN?

Dear Readers,

Ringo must need money again. In a couple of days, the people who do these sort of things will release a new video game, The Beatles Rock Band. This so-called game will join the other video shoot-em-up extravaganzas on the market, and you or your children will be able to fire bullets, rockets and missiles at The Beatles (or at least some lame animation of them) on your computer (or TV, if you have Wii). We here at Tea With S.B think this is kind of tasteless, as one of the Fab Four, John Lennon, was actually shot and killed once.

Our staff, mainly consisting of younger-type men and women (and one we're not sure of), are not against these arcade-style shooting games in principle, but this is a step too far. Why on earth would someone pay $699.95 for a game where the object is to blast the beejesus out of the lovable Liverpudlian Moptops? But there they will be, up on your screen, frolicking through the musical numbers featured in such movies as A Hard Day's Night, Help!, Yellow Submarine and Apocalypse Now while you and little Elmo and Sally aim lethal salvos at the helpless foursome. Is this any way to honor their memory? What possible thrill is there to picking off Paul McCarthy as his badly-rendered android sings I'm Down at a 3-D re-creation of the famous concert at Flushing's Shea Butter Stadium? How many points do you get for that?

Shame on you, Yorko Ono, for allowing such a violent product to hit the market. John would be spinning in his grave... err... if he hadn't already been cremated. One can only hope that this will sell only well enough to put Ringo Starkley's finances back into the black, and not a Euro more. If you must have shoot-'em-up arcade games featuring rock stars, why not use ABBA, or The Jonas Brothers? Use bands that people would love to blast away at, not the greatest band of all time. So, just Wait before you rush out and buy this travesty. Think For Yourself and say "Tell Me Why must I have this game" to it's creators. Say to them "You Can't Do That to The Beatles", and if they offer the game to you at some incredible discount, Run For Your Life. I've Got A Feeling that you will come to your senses, and the peddlers of this filth will cry "You Never Give Me Your Money". Remember, you really don't need this junk, All You Need Is Love.