BIG THREE, BIG DEAL

Dear Readers,
I was born and raised in Detroit, so I have very mixed feelings about the trouble the so-called 'Big Three' automakers have gotten themselves into. On the one hand, it was a delicious sight to watch Rick Wagoner, Robert Nardelli, and the other guys squirm as they went hat-in-hand to Congress last week, but on the other, I hate to see working people's jobs in such jeopardy.
The lead-brained CEOs haven't a clue. Much has been said about their first trip to Capitol Hill, taken by each, separately, on corporate private jets, but I thought the second begathon where they got into cars and drove themselves to Washington was an even bigger mistake. In my opinion, if they were trying to look so contrite and desperate, they should have ridden into D.C. on the backs of asses -very symbolic and in keeping with the seasonal theme. But oh no. No such inventiveness from these out-of-touch mendicants.
Still, it was a treat to watch them having to sit and listen to that barrage of hot air from the Congresspeoples. I found it interesting that the 'Big Three' were constantly being referred to as the 'Detroit Three', a change in moniker that puts them on the same level as the Chicago Seven or the Gang Of Four - basically, rogues on trial. Yet the politicians are such huge hypocrites. They have conspired for years to thwart any sensible attempt to raise gas mileage, and are now asserting their right to tell Detroit's knuckleheads how to run a business - and this after they've given away the entire U.S. Treasury to Wall Street. Pity the poor soul who will become Barack Obama's Treasury Secretary, as he will open up the safe and find nothing but cartoon moths flying out.
So, as Citigroup's board of directors continue light up their cigars with $100 bills, auto workers sweat it out, knowing their big bosses are fools, but praying that Congress comes up with the dough to save their jobs. I guess the pols should go ahead and do the deed, but I would suggest a caveat to the plan. What if, as a condition of bailing out the 'Big Three', Congress insisted that every single employee in the auto industry- from top to bottom - got paid the exact same salary until Ford, GM, and Chrysler paid back all the money they 'borrowed' and became profitable again? Let's see if the real-life IQ of the executives might not get bumped up a few points, having to live on a workingman's wage. It might be interesting to see how executives react to the steep learning curve of reality, as luxuries bit the dust, one by one, for the big-shots. I can hear it now, Dear Readers, 'S.B. is a socialist'! No I'm not! I just think a practical lesson is better than this '$1-a-year' jazz, that's all. Besides, I think if the auto executives screw it up anyway, they should all be deported. To Cuba. That's not socialism, now is it?
But, I wish Detroit well, because it's the city that made me what I am today - an under-appreciated blogger. Even though my next car will almost certainly be another Toyota, I want to see the U.S. auto industry survive, as we need more innovations from the people who brought you the Corvair, the Edsel and the K-Car. Party on, Motor City, can't wait to see what you come up with next!
Well, the old kettle is rusty and breaks down a lot (guess who made it?) but it still eventually comes to a boil, which is convenient, as somewhere, it's 4 o'clock, and time for some tea.