THE MYTH AMERICA PAGEANT

SEVEN MYTHS ABOUT HEALTH CARE REFORM

_____________________________________________________________

1. All privately-held aspirin will be confiscated by the Federal Government. -

This is a lie. The proposed bill only confiscates generic aspirin - and only aspirin past it's sell-by date.

2. Surgeons will all have to 'clock out' at the end of their shifts - even if they're caught in the middle of an operation. - Wrong. A surgeon in the middle of an operation may apply for overtime - average wait expected to be about 48 hours for federal government approval.

3. All Dentists will be ordered to quit practicing dentistry, in order to bring the US healthcare program in line with the one in Britain, where there are no dentists. - Utter nonsense. US dentists won't have to quit practicing dentistry entirely, they will be allowed to convert to dog & cat dentistry.

4. Doctors will have to see three patients at a time - in the same examination room. Rubbish. They'll only have to see two patients at a time in the same examination room.

5. If you are in a serious vehicular accident, and need immediate medical attention, you can only been seen by your own doctor - during regular office hours. Patently untrue. In the House version of the bill, if your doctor is unavailable, any member of the doctor's family over the age of twelve can see you.

6. In an attempt to provide equal coverage for the sexes, all males will be forced to see a gynecologist three times a year. - Absurd. Only males of childbearing age will be required to do so.

7. Should you live long enough to qualify for Medicare, you will have to prove that you've won a gold medal in a track & field event in order to be covered. -

According to administration spokespersons, this clause has been compromised so that you only need to have won a bronze medal.

Source: The 2009 Book Of Don't-Confuse-Me-With-The-Facts.