A NATION MOURNS IN CONFUSION

Dear Readers,

I note the passing of famous U.S. Senator Ted Kennedy. He was the Democratic Party's longtime liberal leader and last survivor of the generation of Kennedys that was seemingly born to rule, but destined for tragedy. His death came at the ripe old age of 77, but many are questioning whether or not it was from so-called 'natural causes'.

Just as his brothers, John F. Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy fell victim to assassins, a budding group of conspiracy theorists are beginning to ask: Was Ted assassinated too?

Supposedly, the veteran Massachusetts Senator died peacefully at his home at Hyannis Port, surrounded by family. But on the internet, a steady buzz of Tweets and blog posts have begun to question that theory, and some have even seen evidence of a 'first' gunman. Even as I write, conspiracy theorists are pouring over film and videotape of the Senator's last public appearances for clues to the assassin's identity. Like the endless analyses of the famous film taken by Dallas businessman Abraham Zapruder of the JFK killing in 1963, some of the finest, self-trained-and-self-appointed assassination researchers have begun to dedicate the remainder of their lives to solving this latest mystery for the chance of uncovering the truth - and securing a publishing deal. One of the first critics of the 1964 Warren Commission Report on the death of President Kennedy, author Mark Lame, has announced he also will begin researching the evidence surrounding Ted Kennedy's death for links that must exist between this latest 'murder' and the CIA, FBI, The Mafia, The Cuban Government and Michael Jackson's doctor, and write an e-book about it. Lame, who penned the 1966 best-seller Rush To Judgement, detailing the conspiracy that resulted in that dark day in Dallas, will reportedly call his new tome on the plot to kill Ted, Rush To Fudgement, a possible reference to the newest cover-up and blurring of the facts. Unfortunately, Lame will have no 'Zapruder' film to work with, despite the presence in nearby Martha's Vineyard of filmmakers Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, James Cameron and Martin Scorsezzie - all who say that they 'didn't have a camera on them' at the time of the Senator's demise ( Oliver Stone was reported to be 'elsewhere'). Hollywood, too, may soon feel the heat of conspiracy speculation.

Skeptics will doubt that even veteran assassination researchers will be able to solve this latest rebus any quicker than the other Kennedy crimes, but as long as the public maintains it's unquenchable thirst for rumor and dubious facts, there will be amateur sleuths only too willing to provide them in volumes.

Editor's note: As of this writing, they still haven't buried poor Michael Jackson yet. If it's of any interest, I'd be willing to bet that Senator Kennedy will beat the 'King Of Pop' (who died, like, two months ago -p-eww!) to his place under the sod.