SO LONG, MR. VOICE OF GOD

Dear Readers,

It's been a terrible summer of celebrity deaths, as we've lost such luminaries as Michael Jackson, Ted Kennedy and DJ-AM, but maybe the saddest loss was the passing of longtime CBS anchorman and reporter, Walter Cronkite.

In a 24-7 age of nonstop news, the position of TV anchorman has been seriously diluted as almost anybody with a good set of teeth and reasonably stylish hair can find themselves delivering the day's events in-between Geico commercials. But back in the early days of TV, news was a ridiculously tiny part of the broadcast schedule, and only a handful of people were allowed national access to deliver the grim realities to a attentive public, and Walter Cronkite was the business.

One only need think back to 1963, and Cronkite's breaking of the news of President Kennedy's assassination. After delivering the awful news of the President's demise, Cronkite broke down in tears and cried and wailed like the winner of the Miss America pageant for a full half-hour, live on television, before regaining his composure. Eventually, he conducted the first, live, on-air interview with the accused killer Lee Harry Oswalt, then still on the run from the Dallas Police. In 1968, Cronkite went to Vietnam to cover the then-obscure war and, with the help of his film crew, wiped out an entire battalion of North Vietnamese regulars in the Pleiku valley before going on-air with his assessment that the U.S.of A could not win, only play for a tie. This news upset President Lyndon 'Brains' Johnson so much, he hung himself. Later that year, Cronkite personally negotiated a settlement to the war, but kept the news to himself for nearly five years - now that's journalistic professionalism.

Cronkite kept reporting the news, happy or sad (or not sure) for a further few years, this latter period highlighted by the Iranian Hostage Crisis. This startling event -which, happily for the CBS stalwart, ran on for 444 days - inspired him to create an exciting new sign-off ('Goodnight, and it's day___of captivity for our hostages in that stinkin', no-good city,Tehran') that helped him beat the chicken soup out of his competition at ABC and NBC in the ratings.

Sadly, Cronkite's news-anchoring days came to an end in 1981, as he lost his chair to Dan Rather in a memorable televised cage-wrestling event. The then 65-year old Cronkite was no match for the 22 year old Rather, who, before the bout, had spiked the veteran's coffee with a date-rape drug and then proceeded to beat him senseless with his bare fists. Rather eventually clanged Walter over the head with the very chair they were battling over, and was declared the winner. After the defeat, Cronkite resigned himself to a retirement fully devoted to spreading malicious rumors about Rather, most of which have stuck.

So, the so-called 'voice of god' is gone and his kind will never be seen or heard from again. His greatness belongs to an era only the very old and insane can dimly remember - one strong, unimpeachable, respected voice of authority, giving the people the news and being paid an enormous amount of money for it. In a newsworld of pygmies, Walter Cronkite was a normal-sized person.