A NIGHT TO REMEMBER

Dear Readers,
Last night, the Academy Awards show was on TV and, as usual, I found something else to do instead of watching it. I'm not a big fan of awards shows in general, this grandaddy of 'em all in particular. I'm content to read about the winners the next morning and have a brief chuckle over the reviews by people who had to watch the doin's and how - every year - they complain about the length of the show and yadda-yadda-yadda.
I think, that for the most part, people who make films are smart and confident, so it's with some puzzlement that the actors and filmmakers who win an award invariably give a nervous, breathless, 'unprepared' and tearful acceptance speech, seeming to have been utterly taken by surprise that they actually won. Is it me or does that seem phony? I mean, these are people who live their lives in front of audiences, are used to being adored and catered for, and besides, just being nominated gives you at least a one-in-five chance of winning, so why the fragmented shock and awe? It's all an act, of course, and the irony is that an actor usually gives his or her worst performance when they pick up an award for having given the best performance. Not having seen the program, I don't know who did what and how, but I'll bet some of Hollywood's biggest names did a poor imitation of a Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes winner.
I guess the managers and publicists advise the stars to behave like that, so as to appear to be humble and not the sort of people who have perks like 'only red M&M's in my trailer' or 'no one is allowed to look me in the eye' written into their contracts. Watching stars-as-people just like us is a bit like watching WWE 'Wrestling' - you have to suspend disbelief to enjoy it properly. Perhaps it's this fiction-as-fact-as-fiction conundrum that cost Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler)the Best Actor Oscar -either that or his do-it-yourself plastic surgery. Anyway, a bit of harmless escapism is welcome in this time of economic turmoil and the winners were all highly deserving, I'm sure. I just wish that, one day, an Oscar winner would bound up to the podium, grab the statuette out of the presenters hand, hold it aloft and proclaim "I'm the King Of The World". Oh, wait, that happened already. James Cameron did it in 1997, after he won it all for Titannic. And he hasn't made a movie since.
The Oscars may not be my cup of tea, but real tea is, so as the kettle boils, I sit and quietly contemplate the clock inching towards 4 o'clock, where somewhere, the award for best break from the working day is being given to me. With biscuits.