STAR TREK: HOW ARE WE DOING?

Dear Readers,

Nothing ages quite as badly as predictions of what's to come, but you have to give a lot of credit to the people who thought up the old TV series, Star Trek. Their version of life and technology in centuries to come stands up pretty well today as we approach the 40th anniversary of its cancellation by NBC.

When the series debuted in the fall of 1966, science fiction (at least on stage, screen and television) was in a transitional state. Audiences had tired of Hollywood's obsession with alien invasions, communist paranoias and atomic-era mutations gone wild (constantly destroying Tokyo) and was turning towards depicting a wider universe of exploration and encounters.

Into that cultural time slot slipped Star Trek, a series that tried to put a positive and even human face on hideous, nauseating, disgusting alien life forms. So, perhaps it's time for a critical look at this preview of life-to-be, as depicted by those creative hacks who dreamt up a galaxy of gear,garb and gizmos that took us away from our past - and forward, into the... err.. make-believe future.

THINGS STAR TREK GOT RIGHT (So Far)

1. Phasers - Yeah, I know that you're saying 'what?', but just think for a moment about the humble Taser. Small, hand-held and often lethal (have a look at your newspaper - if you still get one, that is), the Taser doesn't yet blast through rock and steel, but how many episodes of Star Trek to do you hear the phrase 'set phasers to stun'? A lot. It's only a matter of time until the Taser upgrades to phaser.

2. The Communication Device - Got a flip-top cell phone? Thank Star Trek. The version on the series still had little fiddly knobs on it, but it was small, could handle a number of tasks and had the voice-recognition feature ironed out (we're still a few months away from that). Also, I'm assuming that the crew of the USS Enterprise had a no-roaming charges plan, as I'd hate to think of what AT&T would charge for out-of-galaxy calls.

3. Wide Screen Flat TV - As far as I can tell, the Enterprise didn't have windows to look out of, so they had to rely on an all-purpose, wide-screen TV display on the Bridge. Not only could Captain Kirk see what was ahead of him, but he could also pick up incoming TV transmissions, ship-to-ship visual communications and warning videos from aliens as the Enterprise approached a planet they intended to start meddling with. Wide-screen, flat, hung on the wall, and probably Blue-Ray capable, it was Kirk's window on the Universe.

4. Blue Tooth Technology - Ever notice Uhuru's little communications device stuck in her ear? It had no wires and actually looked very stylish. So far, Lt. Uhuru is the only person who ever wore a blue tooth-type earpiece that didn't look like a real a**hole.

5. Lasik Eye Surgery - Ever see anyone on Star Trek wearing glasses?

THINGS STAR TREK GOT WRONG (So Far)

1. SPACECRAFT DESIGN - The USS Enterprise was aerodynamically impossible, but looked very sleek and stylish. Even by today's standards, it still looks futuristic, sort of like the Guggenheim Museum balanced on a guitar stand. So far, actual projects like the International Space Station are garbage by comparison. In spite of billions of dollars spent, the ISS still looks like it was designed by a 3rd-rate, Eastern European heating and cooling installation firm, s**t-faced on cheap vodka. Calling Frank Gehry!

2. THE TRANSPORTER - The phrase 'Beam Me Up, Scotty' is still largely metaphorical. Far from energizing, atomising and transporting matter, things in that department have slowed down considerably since the 1960's, as anybody who's been to an airport lately can attest to. Word is that Facebook is conducting practical experiments with matter-transport software for a projected dating service, but we don't even have the beta version available yet.

3. THREE DIMENSIONAL CHESS - The crew of The Enterprise didn't seem to have much in the way of recreational pastimes, but a multi-level version of the ancient game saw a lot of use. This version of Chess is pretty wide of the mark as far as forecasts of the future go, yet back in 1966, no sane person could have predicted a future of computer gaming being the main reason human beings exist. One would have liked to have seen Mr. Spock having a go at Grand Theft Auto XXXVI.

4. CLOTHES - Radical as the Enterprise uniform of skin-tight pants and long-sleeved t-shirts (for men) and the danskin-and-miniskirt outfits (for women) might have seemed then, fashion doesn't seem to headed in quite that direction yet. While the unencumbered, minimalist approach was useful for all weathers, atmospheres and situations that a crewperson might encounter on a five year mission, the lack of formality made it look like The Enterprise was having 'Casual Fridays' every day of the week.

5. RACE RELATIONS - Of the many things that Star Trek was notable for, the multi-racial makeup of the crew was one of the most farseeing and laudable aspects of the series. While all of mankind could not be reflected on the bridge of The Enterprise, it's odd that there was room for people from other planets, but not a trace of any 'middle-eastern' types. I'm not saying that Starfleet Command was into 'racial profiling', but surely we will have moved on from 9/11 by then.